Wednesday, March 29, 2023
My Memories of Pino
I remember Pino over so many years after I met Cheryl at work in the Ministry of Citizenship and Culture, or one of its many iterations, in about 1972.
I visited Cheryl and Pino in Italy, maybe in the spring of 1978, where they lived in the Sabine hills north of Rome, across from a field of poppies. The view stretched out towards the horizon, overlooking rolling hills and valleys, all the way to the city. I spent more time there than planned as my back went out on me, and I then slept on their living room floor, where I became what Pino called their ‘surrogate coffee table.’ (They were still in the process of acquiring furniture and cabinetry for their new house when I arrived from Israel, where I had been on an earlier stint of my trip.) I remember visiting a very old restaurant in the countryside to eat pasta with hare sauce, one of the most delicious and memorable dinners of my life, and where we watched four-year-old Marisa on a swing in the garden of the restaurant. One day Pino took me on a tour of the City. Besides the normal places like Vatican City, we also visited the Communist Party Bookstore, where I bought sets of historic feminist posters from all over the world, as well as Chilean posters from the days of Salvador Allende. Pino also introduced me to a favourite summer drink, a glass of ice-cold, very strong Espresso, drunk with sugar and thick cream. It was quaffed at stand-up bars in every town and village.
Pino, a devout Catholic, also had very socialist ideals of equality and rights for all! He was a pioneer traveller and business person in China, over many years, as well as an adventurer. Starting in the days of Mao’s regime, he went annually to China where he did business long before most people had any idea how to do that in Communist China. He loved China, and the Chinese people, and as I recall, his favourite places to eat in Toronto were along Dundas and up and down Spadina, in Toronto’s only Chinatown of that period. And he knew all the different dishes to try from the various regional cuisines of China, far beyond the Cantonese style of the 70s and 80s eaten then by most Canadians. Anyone who knew Pino thought he probably did business with China without much formal preparation, but I remember hundreds of documents and periodicals in his library in Italy that he studied carefully to plan and strategize how he would do business in China on his annual trips.
Pino loved to cook and entertain, and when he got into the kitchen, he became the quintessential chef, putting up with no amateur mediocrity in his kitchen. And that included Cheryl or any guest who offered to help! He ruled the roost and each dish was made exactly according to his direction. You could help, but he had very high standards! And the food was always incredibly delicious, and invariably Italian, á la style of his Mum back in Puglia.
Pino was also very kind and I remember he always insisted on driving me home after I was in the Creatore home. On winter nights that meant so much! And those trips were short, as Pino always liked to drive fast, which I think also reflected his driving experience in Italy!
And Pino was funny. He had a contagious sense of humour, never mean, but hilarious. He could make fun of someone, say myself, without making me feel bad about myself. I always laughed at any foibles of my own that he good-naturedly pointed out! Pino’s grin was irresistible. It was impossible not to chuckle at any of his jokes.
Another quality that Pino had was spontaneity. On his 65th birthday, I was visiting Toronto and was at the Millwood house, when Pino suddenly decided he wanted to go out for dinner. He got dressed in his tuxedo on a minute’s notice, and off we went to Yorkville for a celebration dinner. Cheryl and I were definitely not so well-dressed, but that did not concern Pino for a second. He had no need to impress anyone and was completely unpretentious, so how his companions were dressed was of no moment to him. He just wanted to put on his tux to celebrate a landmark birthday, so he did!
Pino loved Cheryl, and when Marisa came along, he was an adoring father of his girl, whom he considered the smartest child every born, not to mention the most beautiful and charming. I remember how proud he was on the day of his daughter’s wedding. And how much he loved his grandchildren and son-in-law Dan. I moved out of Toronto in 2000 and was gone for 18 years. Cheryl and Pino visited me once on the Big Rideau Lake, where I lived in eastern Ontario. Pino loved the swimming, the dock and the boat, and he brought Italian food with him to cook in the country. As I have said, I usually visited Cheryl and Pino when I came to Toronto. The last time I saw Pino was on a Toronto visit after he already had early Alzheimer’s. I was there for lunch and Jacob also dropped in for lunch that day too – he was in high school at the time. Pino was still in fine fettle, and despite his condition, kept us laughing throughout the meal with his good-natured jokes. I thought how interesting it was that a teenaged boy sought out the companionship of his grandfather for a school-day lunch, over that of his friends!
I was sorry to hear from Cheryl that Pino was in hospital, and then had to move into long-term care as his dementia progressed. Cheryl was the most devoted spouse ever, visiting him almost daily for years, feeding him, playing his Italian music to bring to his face that infectious smile, and making his final years as livable as possible under the circumstances. And Marisa, with a very demanding job and teenagers at home, was also a steadfast companion each weekend for her beloved Dad. She was thankfully with him when he passed, which I hope he somehow knew.
Betty Butterworth
March 29, 2023
