Tuesday, November 14, 2017
MEMORIES OF OUR BROTHER - PETER - FROM HIS SISTERS PATTY AND JACKY
Over the last few days we have been remembering happy memories of our dear brother Peter. We regret not having had more time to spend with him.
Peter was born in a difficult time in history. A world war was brewing. But according to our eldest cousin Helen, our Dad, Albert, and his first wife Denise were fun loving and very happy. Sadly this did not last as Denise died during the war. It was deemed that she would not be spoken of nor mentioned thereafter. How difficult for Peter, a young boy of 6, to cope. How hard must it have been when a vivacious, young woman, Gisele, then living in Peter’s maternal Grandmother’s boarding house, fell in-love with our father and soon became Peter’s step-mother.
Three years after their marriage, Patty arrived on the scene. Patty because she was born on St Patrick’s Day but Christine after our paternal grandmother. Peter was ten years older than Patty and adored his baby sister. He always returned from school with a grumpy hello for Mum and Dad and a gleeful, “Hello Patty” and a big smile. And then later when Jacky arrived, it was “Hello Patty Jacky”.
After the war our father searched for greener pastures and took his family to Johannesburg where rationing was unheard of and food and sunshine were plentiful. There Jacky was born soon after.
Among Patty’s first memories of Peter was a holiday away with him and family friends when Jacky was due to be born.
Peter went to boarding school in Johannesburg so was away a lot of the time and we suspect he missed us a great deal but he was part of our lives. Jacky remembers the pattern of Peter’s bedspread and his room was always “Peter’s room”. Patty remembers going into his room and seeing him studying at his desk - but inside the books were comics! He cleverly concealed these from Mum and Dad.
We remember his spending time with us, playing games, and pushing us on our swings, often joined by his friend Roby, who fascinated us because he had a glass eye.
Life continued until Peter, then 17, finished school with disappointing final grades. He decided to run away to Durban to avoid the wrath of our father and stow away on a ship to England. Without telling anyone, he hitch-hiked to Durban. As soon as our parents discovered he was missing a huge man hunt was instigated, and we remember standing in the hallway, with Dad organising search parties, of police, scouts and neighbours. After several days he was spotted in Durban and was brought home. But he soon got his way and was sent to London to live with his maternal grandmother. For several years, he studied and worked and also met Dublin-born Laurie, his first wife. We did not go to England for the wedding, but placed an overseas phone call. It was only a three minute call in those days and Jacky was the only one who wrote out what she wanted to say.
In 1960 Peter and Laurie with baby David returned to live in South Africa and stayed with us until they moved into their own home. There was much activity around this with mum upholstering lounges and chairs and everyone collecting furniture for the new house.
We both remember trying to help with David, but had to compete with our mum and the nanny. That first Christmas Peter and Laurie took us along to a Catholic Mass! Quite an experience for us both, not being church goers.
Peter went to work with our father and life continued calmly following the arrival of Sean. But before Kevin arrived, and following the Sharpeville incident in South Africa, my father decided to again relocate his family this time to Australia, leaving Peter and his coworker jointly in control of the business. All seemed to go smoothly and in 1963 we returned to South Africa for a year. Patty departed for a year in Switzerland and Jacky completed a year of high school in Johannesburg. But Jacky was too tied up with friends and teenage pursuits to spend much time with Peter and family. She does remember however, Peter coming to say good bye on her last day in South Africa. As it turned out this was the last time Jacky saw Peter until 2006 when he came to Australia.
Back in Australia, we settled into life but there were issues with the business back in South Africa and Dad and Peter fell out, prompting a return of Mum and Dad to South Africa leaving Jacky as a boarder at University. Soon after this Peter and family migrated to the USA. Peter later said to us that he considered going to Australia but there was not enough room in one country for his Dad and him.
Sadly, over the years contact was reduced to Christmas cards.
Then in 1980 Patty, her husband Tony, and children Giselle and Christopher left for a posting to Ireland. On the way, they stayed with Peter in Pittsburgh, getting to know him and Laurie again and allowing the cousins to meet. Patty remembers Peter telling them that they might miss the summer in Dublin “while having a shower!” Along with Patty and Tony’s younger son, Ciaran, they all caught up again in Toronto in 1985, where Peter took them to Niagara Falls. Then while Ciaran was roaming the world, he stayed with Peter in 2001 and was delighted to meet his cousin Sean.
After Laurie and then our mother passed away and long after our Dad had died, Peter came to Australia for Patty’s 60 birthday in 2006. She and Tony met Peter in Sydney, where they stayed for a few days to show him the sights. Then they drove to Canberra where he again met Giselle and Christopher and their families. Car crazy Peter, fell in love with Patty's new bright yellow Honda Jazz and every time they went out, he jealously claimed the front passenger seat!
He also came to Brisbane and stayed with Jacky and her husband Pete and met their sons Ben and Raf. It was a very difficult trip for Peter on his own and he admitted to being very nervous about meeting us after so long. But we all managed beautifully. Jacky and Pete took Peter to their holiday home on the Sunshine Coast where we enjoyed glorious Autumn weather on the deck. We took the laundry to the laundromat and while it was washing went to the pub and had a bucket of prawns – the best laundry Peter had ever done he professed.
Jacky and Pete visited Toronto that Christmas and met Krisztina. Patty and Jacky were thrilled that Peter had found her. It was here that Peter and Pete began calling each other “the old bugger” an Aussie term of endearment to which Peter initially took offence insisting “not so much of the old”.
And then Jacky and Pete were delighted to be present at Peter and Krisztina’s wedding where they met Krisztina’s large family and of course renewed contact with David, Sean and Kevin and met young Bryn. Unfortunately, Patty and Tony were unable to be there.
In 2010, Jacky and Pete met Peter in the art deco beach-front precinct of Miami and we all drove down to the Florida Keys over the many bridges that connect all of the islands to the mainland. For two days Jacky enjoyed long strolls round Key West catching up with Peter’s news while Pete led us on Hemmingway tours – the first hotel Hemmingway stayed in, his house, etc.
Jacky emailed the following to Patty while in the Keys -“Dear Patty, We walked all over this part of the world with Peter. We talked of so much, Krisztina, children, bridge, his summer joy, golf, and lots more. He told us of his golf highlight - three players and three birdies at the same hole. He assured me even pros don't manage that!”
Jacky also wrote to Kristina at that time – “Dear Krisztina, It was wonderful to spend time catching up with Peter and I do appreciate the big effort he made to join us in Florida. I am watching the time as the day progresses thinking of him on his return trip but happy in the knowledge that he was so looking forward to seeing you at the other end. The weather here was fantastic - especially the last day with Peter and today it was magical. Tell Peter we had lunch on the wharf and the power boats had a race in the middle of lunch”. Jacky ended the letter with “Peter talked a lot about how much you both enjoyed your cruises and I said maybe when you have retired (sooner rather than later - hopefully) we could all get together.”
In fact, that is what happened, not the retirement part for Krisztina, but in 2013, Peter and Krisztina came to Sydney on their way to catch a cruise ship to New Zealand. Patty and Tony and Jacky and Pete met them in Sydney and for the first time in some 50 odd years all three siblings were together. We happily enjoyed a walk across the Sydney Harbour Bridge and a delightful meal in the shadow of the north tower of the Bridge.
How sad it ended there but we are grateful for the happy memories and all the precious time spent with our brother.
Patty and Tony
Jacky and Pete
